Whew! After a sudden change in the immune system department (remember I was dealing with a “minor” cold? Well it would seem it was something else…bronchitis? Most likely.), I had to take several days off from being “My Best Me”. Really…I wasn’t my best me, unless you can call creating massive mounds of mucus and hacking my lungs up “My Best Me”. It wasn’t pretty, I tell you! 😉
On a positive note, I had many days to digest the amazing things the universe served me on my proverbial plate – things I didn’t realize I had room for. A good friend once told me, “If you find you have too much on your plate, then get a bigger plate. And see, that’s the thing about telling the universe, “Bring it on!” If you ask, you shall receive. And you had better be prepared for what’s about to be put in front of you.
Over the course of a week and a half I pondered what was REALLY my reasoning for the “My Best Me Challenge”. I spoke with a few trusted people about it and came to the conclusion that I felt that in order for us as humans to create a better world we had to start from the inside.
And then it happened. Just over a week ago the universe said, “Okay, you are asking for a change within. Abracadabra, here it is!” I wasn’t prepared for it. Honestly, I knew it would happen someday and I’d have to face it head on.
Someone, who I stopped speaking with for “toxic” reasons, just happened to come back into my life. My ego had always told me, “Don’t open that door! Because you’ll be faced with a rabid wolf, ready to attack! People…don’t…change.” There had been years of manipulation, text messages that could’ve landed said person with a cyber-bullying lawsuit, and I had just had enough and decided to go “no contact” about a year and a half ago (a term many people dealing with their own abuses will understand).
When the “knock on the proverbial door” happened, a part of me thought, “Oh dear, I have no space or time in my life to be dealing with this. I’m trying to better my life. Not add negativity.”
But I took a breath and did it. I figured, the universe was willing to present me with this opportunity so I can be open to see what was going to happen. I opened that door with bravery ready to face whatever was coming to me, with kindness. I generally try kindness first anyway, and sometimes it backfires. I half expected it to actually.
However, funny things happen when you recognize that you asked the universe for it and instead of avoiding it, add a bit of trust to the equation. Not full on “take advantage of my empathy”-type trust. Just enough to say, “I’m open to the possibility of what could be,” and, “I will accept whatever comes my way with courage. God/The Universe will not give me more than I can handle.”
I listened, then I gently stated my point of view on how things were (without the gory details of emotional scars and hurts – I’m not a victim in this and I refuse to be one) and….well…it turned into a lovely conversation of self awareness, spirituality and life in general. A good, wholesome, authentic conversation full of kind honesty.
Keep in mind, this doesn’t happen on a regular basis. People don’t just “change” over night. This is a special case to which I was not previously aware. Life happened, and change occurred in this person’s life. A drastic change, but a change for the better. And the universe presented me with a chance to understand who the person is now.
We agreed that the past is the past and that in order to heal the rift, we both needed to try. That we could “progress” with baby steps but do it in a way that both parties are respected and given the time needed to heal.
Because really, that’s all it requires – healing. If we didn’t have hurt feelings, fear of others repeating their toxic behaviour on us, and many other negative things that happen over the course of the first, say, 30-40 years of our lives, we may live a little more peacefully in this world. But we can’t live in a bubble, can we? Life happens. People hurt us. Events change our lives. You name it, you can’t avoid the hurt. But we can heal it.
The universe will dish things out and it’s a choice of, “do we have any room in our life for it or are we going to get a bigger plate and deal with it?”
I chose to trade in my previous plate for a platter. And now, I not only have room for healing this previously scarred friendship, but I have room for whatever else I’m going to presented with on the “My Best Me Challenge”.
P.S. I’m going to call my questions to my readers “Thoughts” from now on…so here it goes.
Do you feel there is something in your life preventing you from accepting “more on your plate”? Or is there even a need for you to “get a bigger plate”?